THE HOUSE
- Juanita Maduadichie
- Jul 9, 2018
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 10, 2018
IS THE HOUSE REALLY A HOUSE ?

So yes before I go somewhere I do a lil research about the place, check their Instagram account yunno to get a clear idea š¤·š½āāļø.
Things you need to know if you want to try them out :
š« The location is a very tricky one, you can pass that place like two times and nothing will click that that is the building š©luckily for me, the driver came down once we got there to find the exact building cause I certainly didnāt leave my house to be doing āmerry go roundingā
Hint: itās a brown building with balconies and black gate with a kiosk in front , thank me laterš.
š« As the name goes it is like someoneās houseševen the inside, they have different rooms such as the private room a.k.a cigar room, with proper clean and nice brown wood furnishing , (entering that place alone I was already suffocatingš©) the parlour for Netflix and chillšš(Which takes 5 or 6 people for N50,000 and after that they start taking 10k per head for extras. Well it's not Netflix oh it's DSTV but just go with the vibe) the shisha booth, the bar and main place to eat ( which has the fine dinning table then other couches that have blankets for you to yunno sleep, eat, and press phone š¤·š½āāļø.
š«Some of the things I ordered are not on the menu and I only found out they had them through their Instagram page.
š«Whatever happens in the house stays in the house!!!!
š«I advice you to go in the afternoon cause the pictures youāll be taking will be lit and popping .
Thatās basically it !
To the food and drinks
MENU TIME
They have 3 menus (in those 3 menus some things are still not there )
the menus are self explanatory and easy to navigate throughš«
What did I get ?.
See I donāt know maybe it was because I was so pumped to go there, because I decided that I will tell them that I want my drink and food at the same time but Noo ohh it skipped Juanita's mind, ordered my drink first:
A strawberry Daiquiri (N3500) which is off the menu and yeah it was nice and perfect šš½ well past half of it had gone before the food came, the food took a while to come š¤·š½āāļø but you know new age, new me wonāt stress š¤·š½āāļøš
For the main i decided to order:
The House Curry (N5500)š¶ļø:Ā
(In house curry sauce with your choice of chicken, beef or mixed vegetables served with basmati rice )Ā First off this curry sauce pass curry sauceš©. My secondary schools own did not even match up to it š©š©. Like the curry sauce made me feel like I had been chowing trashšThis curry sauce was spicy and all, itās a must try šš½. The basmati rice was well done ā Presentation top notch šš½, really wish i could mix the beef and chicken curry sauce tho. Other than that, I enjoyed my meal but that Ofada bowl Iām coming for you next time, soon sooon š
Rating: 8.5/10
TIP: 10k-15k should be enough for food and drinks
SHOTS!!! SHOTS!!! SHOTS!!! SHOTS!!!
RAHHHHH you certainly need to try this! This was off their menu, they posted it one time on their instagram and i told my friend we must do this, certainly the highlight whooo!! can still feel like the sensation of the heat thinking about it. Had to do it twice cause the first time i didn't get it right and its not one of those shots that yunno you just down your throat, this you have to suck with a straw very quickly and if you put the straw in for too long it starts to burn the straw like literally melt the straw, A MAJOR HIGHLIGHT!!
Price: Spent N8400 i dunno how they calculated it i think each shot is either N2100 OR N2800
SHISHA...OKAYY NOWW
Go to the shisha room and ensure they turn on the lights of the mirror, we await on instagram for new posts !
Learnt how to do the thick smoke with the shisha thing let me give you a hint: suck from the side of your mouth !
The cabana thing we stayed in was so chilled had to beg them to change the music to afrobeats so we could yunno burst some shaku shaku but we kept on hearing house music and as soon as "Ye by BurnaBoy" dropped see the way some girls there started bursting some shaku shaku....!!!
PRICE: Standard shisha price was N5000 and thats what we did ! they also have the one of N7000 and above
NOTE: You have to buy a drink with the shisha so we decided to buy water look at that middle picture and guess what? IT WAS N1000, my God! it was then i knew i foolish die ! i wish i knew how much it was before requesting it but new age new me, maintained my cool!
AUNTIES AND UNCLES THE LAST SURPRISE AWAITS YOU WHEN YOU GET YOUR BILL!!
Service charge: it is by fire, by force! i used to think service charge cant pass N500 max max N1000, aunties and uncles let me burst your brain i paid almost N4000 service charge. Thats like an extra meal, i cant shout! šššš
AND REMEMBER!
Whatever happens in the house stays in the house!!!!
Laters babyš¤š
š: The House Lagos
šŗļø: 4 AJ Marinho Drive, Victoria Island, Lagos
š½ļø: outdoor eating ā
š: street parking no designated parking area
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